I have come to realise that in today’s world, it can be embarrassing to admit that you are looking for new friends. That is a generalisation, and perhaps many of your experiences differ from mine. However, as a female, I will admit that at times, I have felt ashamed if the head count of my friends was a little on the low side in comparison to other people (comparing myself to others, that’s always a healthy approach, right). My question is why. Why do feelings of shame and embarrassment come up when you are simply searching for human connection? It’s not as though anyone has ever said anything to make me feel embarrassed about it. So why on earth does this emotion come up?
We have been discussing this among the Chatter & Co. team lately, and a lot of valid points were raised.
I think the one that resonated most with me was that lacking in friends (even if it’s just for a brief season in life) feels like a reflection on you. It can make a person feel as though they aren’t worthy to have the genuine friendships that other people have. Or that they mustn’t be interesting enough, good enough (insert own insecurity here) to have that support network. And I am here to tell you that that simply is not true.
The reason you are looking for new friends is because you have been brave enough to stand up and say I want more fulfillment in my life. I want to find a support system, a true friend, someone who will stand by me through it all.
Why haven’t you found that yet, you may ask yourself?
For so many reasons.
The stars may not have aligned for you before now. You may have moved away from your old friends. Or stayed in the same place and grown emotionally apart. Or gone through a divorce and suddenly realised that all of your friends are married and not in the same place in life as you anymore. Or maybe you have simply always struggled to find friends in the real world.
And you know what? All of those things are ok. None of us have lived the experiences of anyone else. Your reasons for why you have found yourself looking for new friends may be very personal to you. Or perhaps you are happy to be open about wanting a bigger social circle.
Whatever your story may be, you should never feel ashamed to look for new friends. Chatter & Co. is a supportive environment where you should feel proud for wanting more. Let’s work together to take the stigma away from women who are looking for new friends.
So this blog entry is for you, the women of Brisbane, who are brave enough to step outside their comfort zone and connect with other humans. It’s because of all of you that we are doing this.
So thank you!